What this feeling is like!!!

I woke up with a foggy heart.
The sun slid past me like I wasn't there.
The coffee went cold, and so did the voice in my chest.
I stared out the window as time passed without me.
The world kept breathing and I was breaking.
I folded into the silence like a forgotten letter.

I wear my smile like a mask—
pretty enough to pass, fragile enough to shatter.
Every laugh feels borrowed, a coat that doesn’t fit.
I sit in circles and nod while my soul drowns quietly.
No one sees the weight tied to my ankles.
I say, “I’m fine,” but it’s just camouflage.
Inside, the ache is growing teeth.
I walk through days like they’re made of glass.
One wrong word, and I fall apart.

Grief curls beside me like a loyal dog,
always there, always hungry.
I feed it old memories and half-healed wounds.
It licks my hands and calls it love.
Sometimes I don’t cry because I’m numb,
and sometimes I cry because I remember feeling.
I speak in metaphors because truth is too sharp.
How do you say, “I’m drowning,”
when everyone else is swimming past you?

I believed I was meant for more—
something soft, something safe.
But life handed me thorns,
Now I bleed quietly into empty spaces.
My dreams are birds that flew south and never came back.
Hope is a language I’ve started to forget.
I trace the outlines of joy like old scars,
wondering if they’ll ever stop stinging.
But no one really looks past the surface.

I send messages in bottles that no one opens.
Every “How are you?” feels like a test I fail.
No one to notice the tremble in my voice,
to see the shadows under my silence.
Instead, I’m praised for being “strong”
while I rot behind my ribs.
I scream into pillows like they’re portals
to a world where someone listens.
But they only echo my own voice back to me.

If kindness is out there, it must be asleep.
If comfort exists, it’s wearing someone else’s name.
I lie down at night and peel back the day
like a wound wrapped too tightly.
I dream of being seen, not stared at—
of being held, not handled.
But morning comes, and I rise again,
And once more I whisper into the void:
Who cares about my happiness?